My family & friends know when I'm being serious or not. They know when I'm saying something tongue and cheek and when I'm being real. They get it. Most of them do but some don't. They don't pickup when I'm tweeting things in a humorist off key kind of way. That's not a dig or criticizing them. They just don't it and I get that. I'll post tweets about how 'humble' Donald Trump is and people think I'm serious. I tweeted one yesterday and I got tweets telling me I'm crazy if I think Trump is a humble guy da da da etc. In my mind I'm thinking this is so over the top that people have to know I'm not serious, but they don't. I'm halfway serious and that's what makes them funny. Kind of a hardy har, har thing. Normally I don't care what people think about what I post unless the misconstrued joke is hurting someone. Then I do care. People tell me my humor can be too dry whatever that means. It doesn't matter to me if it's dry or not unless I might be hurting someone. My humor might be dry but my heart is still soft. The only thing I can do is remove the tweets and apologize, and I do. Some things seem to be a do not enter zone and I'll respect that. If you read a tweet of mine and it's so over the top and you're thinking...this guys nuts....is he serious?  There's a very good chance I'm Not serious.  

When I get to heaven, the 1st. question I'm going to ask Jesus is why do you allow so much suffering to continue in the world?  Whenever I think of my youngest brother Joe,  I get a lump in my throat. Even to this day I have to stop typing and clear my eyes sometimes because they get too blurry & can't see the keys.  My brother died in 1994.  Nothing can replace the piece of him I had in my heart.  He was the apple of my Dad's eye and was the youngest boy out of 7 brothers, all one year apart from each other. He never smoked or drank or got into drugs like the rest of us did and he kind of restored the Hedstrom name for my Father and mother because he got them off the hook when they could say,   don't blame us for what the rest of the boys do.  We know how to raise good kids, look at Joe and Ann.   I think there was a part of Joe that felt  because he didn't go to the same river parties we did or hang around the same people we did he didn't feel like an equal to the rest of the brothers. But he could have partied and went down that road if he wanted to. We would have welcomed him but he never did.  The world  in the 1960's-70's was different. Everybody turned on back then (Got high)  You were either a jock, a head or a redneck.  The heads got high and the jocks didn't, and the red necks were red necks.  In school or out of school whenever I saw someone I knew was a jock I'd think....man get it together dude.  You're all screwed up living in la la, land.  Step up and join the real world and live life the way it was meant to be lived.  We just couldn't relate to people on that level. I never viewed Joe like that. I lived with him. He knew what was going on and in hind sight he was smarter than all of us. We didn't know that but he did.  In the 60's-70's violence wasn't cool either, anyone who was into that was a red-neck.   We were "mellowed out" and rejected the society we were living in. I was in a band and I thought I'd be doing for the rest of my life, but the lifestyle I was living would change dramatically in a couple of  years.  God had other plans for me. Lets just say God lifted up the rose colored glasses I was wearing and I saw the world for what it was.  All this peace and love was just sex, drugs and rock & roll.  It wasn't real love and we weren't going to change the world.  All the mellowed out hippies were just fooling themselves.  I knew everyone of us would have to see the real world and what's in it for ourselves and we did.  Financial loss, sickness, suicide,  Fatal Alcoholism, drug overdoses, murder,  all of that would visit one of us sooner or later. But the hardest thing we have to face in life is death. The death of a close loved one will take wind out of your sails. Especially when it comes right out of the blue and makes no sense at all.  My brother Joe had only been married for a one year to a girl from Hawaii. He was only 33 and he had his whole life in front of him.  He bought a new home and everything was good until Oct. 28th 1994. I got a knock on my door and two of my brothers were standing there and I knew something us up. Neither one of them wanted to tell me what happened. And then I heard Berny say,  Joe died!........I couldn't believe what I just heard. It seemed like time stopped.  I thought for sure I was dreaming this. This couldn't be happening.  Joe was the youngest of 7 brothers.  We were all born one year apart from each other so it was like this special tribe we had.  But Joe was special to all of us.  I used to ask him if anyone at school was picking on him and he always said no.  I was ready to make sure it stayed that way.  Joe and my sister Ann were spoiled by my parents but I didn't care. I didn't want them to go through what I did so I never rocked the boat. My dad was close to Joe and vise versa.  I've only seen my Father cry twice.  Once at my grandma Hedstrom's funeral. (His Mother)  And 30 years later at Joe's funeral.  I felt bad for my dad.  He put his heart and soul into Joe and like I say, they were close. I remember my Father looking down at Joe in the casket and I was thinking how can a loving God let this happen?  Why out of all of us 7 did He let this happen to Joe? This part of life I'll never understand. When I see some of the things that go on in the world today my blood boils. This subject tests my Christian faith more than anything else. I don't have an answer for people that ask me these things.  That's what I tell them.  I tell them I don't know. I don't pretend to have an answer for them either. When ever I think about this subject a little voice whispers in my ear...What about Jesus? I Don't want to hear that whisper in my ear right now. I'am trying to understand how a loving God can let little children be beheaded because their of their Christian faith? In my mind I'm thinking, God, you made a mistake when you created us. Man is capable of too much evil on this earth. Stop and start over. If you take a step back and think about it that's what He did at the cross. He gave us another chance at a new life.  How did God let Jesus go through what He did without intervening?.....I have no idea.   But aren't you glad the Son of God came through for us?  Think of where you'd be today if He hadn't gone through what He did for you and I?  God works in mysterious ways. but in spite of all that I learned to trust Him. I'm not going to walk away from the Christian faith because there's a side of God I don't understand. I had a friend who did that very thing in 1987. One day right out of the blue she said if God was a loving God the world would be in the condition it's in.  I could never do that. I'v seen too many unexplainable things happen to do that. And although there unexplainable, they all line up with the word of God. The bible is another trap the enemy will try and mess you up with.   I know what I know and no one will change that. I believe in salvation for the world through Jesus Christ by faith for whomever will come and surrender their lives to Him. I don't have to find the answers to the side of the character of God I don't understand. We can get tied up in the things we don't understand and you just end up with more questions. Questions about why God is the way He is are pointless. suffering and destruction and evil are here today. Don't let those things keep you away from loving God. Do what you can for people and follow the golden rule to the best of your ability because if we're honest we all fall short of that one From time to time.    
     >Rev.11:15<              

Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.  []Mark 9:24[]  That's one of my favorite bible verses in the New Testament because it shows us we don't need this superhuman faith for God to answer Prayer.  Have you ever been praying for something heavy and you Think you're praying with complete faith but when the prayer is answered you're over-joyed with a bit of surprise?  You thought you had complete faith when you were praying but when the prayer is answered your response tells you otherwise.  But God is a good God.  Mark 9:24 shows us we don't need 100% faith in the things we're praying for.  When we pray thy will be done, we're leaving a little bit of wiggle room for prayer to go either way and that takes pressure off of us.  We're honoring God's will above our will.  He's going to answer prayers presented to Him that way before He answers the prayer of someone saying, I believe it, so that settles it. Period!  That's not a prayer, that's a demand. We don't stand on God's word as tho He's under our feet and we're calling the shots by quoting scripture verses.  God want's us to talk to Him.  We forget that we CAN twist God's arm a little bit but with respect and humility.  Lot pleading for more time before God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah  is just one example of someone twisting God's arm or for God to reconsider what He was about to do.  God knew who was in the city. He didn't need Lot to remind Him who was still in there.  Lot touched God just enough with his desperate plea that God answered Lot and waited.  God is asking us to talk to Him.  That's what the parable of the widow and dishonest judge is all about.  It's a perfect example of spiritual warfare. Satan knows He can wear us out if he keeps standing in the way, keeps harassing us, keeps throwing a monkey wrench into our lives anyway he can until we fold and throw in the towel.  BUT,......If we keep getting back up no matter how hard the devil hits us and continue to praying (Talk) to God, in time you're going to put a smile on God's face and He's going to come through for you and your prayer.  Unless we have the pure unadulterated faith of a mustard seed,  We're always going to have a little bit of doubt.  Ironically Catholics and not the protestants are the ones who know and recognize this more about God.  I was brought up Catholic, so I knew this at an early age.  Prayer IS WORKS.  It's not easy to "Work" that kind of prayer day in and day out when the enemies doing everything he can to slam you off course.  That's what fasting is all about.  It's tugging at God's garment hem and not letting go, while the devils got a hold of your feet and he's trying to pull you off.  God takes notice of things like that.  Believe me He does.  None of my prayers have 100% pure faith wrapped up in them. There are people reading this blog right now that know exactly what I'm talking about.  All of us are prayer warriors in one way or another but you don't need a mustard seed kind of faith for this kind of prayer to be successful. This kind of prayer isn't what James is talking about when he says the prayer of faith will heal the sick.  Paul talks about praying throughout the whole day. But again, that's different from what prayer warriors do.  Intercessors or prayer warriors don't necessarily have great faith.  They have great tenacity.  The Holy Spirit helps them get up and keep moving. Keep praying.  Wars last longer than one or two days.  Don't be discouraged if God's not answering your prayer right away.  You're lack of faith isn't the problem.  That's a trap door the enemy wants you to believe.  Don't stop praying and don't get discouraged. Get back up and keep moving.            

 And hello. I'd like to clear up some things. If someone shares their feelings with you about something or says their certain God's going to do A.B or C. that's Not the same thing as saying, Thus sayth the Lord, God's going to do AB and C.  Have you ever said to someone,  I'm sure, or I bet, or I'm positive God's  going to something? It's an opinion. It's not prophecy.  If that's prophecy then we're all prophets.  But I even went a step further more than once and said, as far as I know, I'm NOT a prophet. I've never heard God's voice. I see people everyday on twitter that say,  "God just said" You're going to get a blessing,  or God just said you'll have this in a month etc. If God talks to them that way that's great. But I've never heard God's voice that way. There's so much misinformation on twitter, and gossip and lies about people it's insane. People I've never met or never even talked to and have never walked in my shoes or walked the road I have will judge me for what I don't have in life, instead of what I do have.  People that knew me in my past will tell you It's a miracle I'm what I am today. People that knew me from 1977 to 1980 saw a man who was completely isolated within himself. They saw a man that rarely spoke other than yes, no, maybe etc. People wondered what was wrong with me. What happened to him? who is this?   People would talk about me with me in the room as if I wasn't there. My band mates abandon me and why wouldn't they?  I was of no use to them. I was the dude that went "A-Wall". For three years I was like this until I took a chance and rolled the dice and said Jesus, you can have my life if you can help me. My conversion was dramatic. The healing was a slow process but the change in me was immediate. I had changed. The first time my uncle saw me after my conversion he said there was something different about me to my mom and my mother said Matt's excepted Christ into his life.  They both broke down and began to cry. When people say I'm not living my purpose they have no idea what their talking about.  Their looking at me through a very small window. If they could open up the window a little higher they'd see God has already healed me and is still healing me. I'm not perfect. I can be jaded, too opinionated, prideful, judgemental etc. just like everybody else.  I don't care who you are, if you're alive in this world you're going to have issues of some kind or another with the devil, the world, or the flesh.  Sin is death if you want to really get down to it. When God forgives you of sin no matter how great or small, that's a spiritual healing.  None of us will be complete this side of Heaven.  When people from my past see me they know there's a God and that God is real and He heals and restores.  They can see it with their own two eyes what God can do.  God has healed me, or you could say put me back together His way, the way He wanted me to be.  He's still working on me. But what He didn't do is heal me to be a prophet. If God wants to put the gift of prophecy on me that's His business. I'm a Christian who tries to be a better Christian day by day and who prays for others to do the same and succeed in life with gifts and talents I'll never have to help build the Kingdom of God.  I'm never going to meet the standards some people expect me to meet. They think I'm suppose to have all the training and experience and knowledge they do with their careers. I don't. All I can do is work on getting ahead with what I do know and the talents I do have. I'm not going to get ahead with secret promises. If people truly see something in me that can advance their Gig they'll talk to me like people do. If people want to know what kind of a man I'm today, they can talk to the woman who's lived with me for the last 25 years.  I'm not a prophet. And I'm not a market place guru loaded down with cash. Today my real concern is my relationship with God and His will and I've been right on the mark with that. When that's good I'm good. Here's some of who I'am
 >A fun guy with a good sense of humor<

The parable of the widow and the judge (Luke 18:1-8)  shows us some good things.
1st.)  He gives us an insight into prayer and the part we play in it > Consistency<  A lot of spiritual warfare is tied up in being persistent and staying on it day, by day. Prayer and healing are answered in God's timing not ours. And I think most people give up too soon and then say God doesn't answer prayer. (NYdailynews)  When I had surgery on my stomach 3 years ago everything was going wrong and instead of getting better I was getting worse. I thought God wasn't answering my prayers because I messed up my life. I blew it and didn't come through on His plans. I knew I was forgiven and would be in Heaven if I died. But the pain I was in was too much. I caught pneumonia, the wound became infected, my stomach wasn't working like it should be,  I had needles stuck in both arms, a tube up my nose down to my stomach,  and a breathing tube in my mouth.  The worst part about it was the water building up around my lungs that's was keeping me from breathing normal. I had to take short little breaths in and out. As the days went by I kept asking, God, why aren't you helping me? Where are you?  Take me home or help me heal but don't let me sit here and linger. In spite of all I was going through I  kept saying,  God I still trust you,  I'm not losing faith in you, I know you're still with me.  It was the first time in my life God didn't come through for me in dire situations and it troubled me. After two weeks I finally got well enough to go home.  The only thing left was my infection and me getting stronger and I did as the days went by.  Fast forward a year later and as I was taking a walk I asked God....God. why didn't you heal me when I was suffering in the hospital? And I sensed God ask me,  are you healed?  It Stopped me in my tracks. I'd never thought about it in that way. God has healed me. He did come through for me. I'm perfectly healthy today. The next thing out of my mouth was, God, thank you for healing me.  It was slow but He was there behind the scene working.  Keep praying Don't stop.  Prayer isn't always answered right away. It can take time.  In the parable of the widow and the judge is saying He hears our pounding on the door. Keep pounding on the door with prayer. And most of all, don't lose faith in God.  Be blessed.  

Many of us have a sort of vision God wants us to be. We must be true to the vision whatever it is, and we must try to live up to it, by living the way we believe we should live. We can all believe we have a vision of what God wants us to be like. In all persons there is a good person whom God See's in us, the person we could be and that God would like us to be. But many a person fails to fulfill that promise and God's disappointments must be many.
     > 24 hours a day Alcoholics Anonymous <