When I get to heaven, the 1st. question I'm going to ask Jesus is why do you allow so much suffering to continue in the world?  Whenever I think of my youngest brother Joe,  I get a lump in my throat. Even to this day I have to stop typing and clear my eyes sometimes because they get too blurry & can't see the keys.  My brother died in 1994.  Nothing can replace the piece of him I had in my heart.  He was the apple of my Dad's eye and was the youngest boy out of 7 brothers, all one year apart from each other. He never smoked or drank or got into drugs like the rest of us did and he kind of restored the Hedstrom name for my Father and mother because he got them off the hook when they could say,   don't blame us for what the rest of the boys do.  We know how to raise good kids, look at Joe and Ann.   I think there was a part of Joe that felt  because he didn't go to the same river parties we did or hang around the same people we did he didn't feel like an equal to the rest of the brothers. But he could have partied and went down that road if he wanted to. We would have welcomed him but he never did.  The world  in the 1960's-70's was different. Everybody turned on back then (Got high)  You were either a jock, a head or a redneck.  The heads got high and the jocks didn't, and the red necks were red necks.  In school or out of school whenever I saw someone I knew was a jock I'd think....man get it together dude.  You're all screwed up living in la la, land.  Step up and join the real world and live life the way it was meant to be lived.  We just couldn't relate to people on that level. I never viewed Joe like that. I lived with him. He knew what was going on and in hind sight he was smarter than all of us. We didn't know that but he did.  In the 60's-70's violence wasn't cool either, anyone who was into that was a red-neck.   We were "mellowed out" and rejected the society we were living in. I was in a band and I thought I'd be doing for the rest of my life, but the lifestyle I was living would change dramatically in a couple of  years.  God had other plans for me. Lets just say God lifted up the rose colored glasses I was wearing and I saw the world for what it was.  All this peace and love was just sex, drugs and rock & roll.  It wasn't real love and we weren't going to change the world.  All the mellowed out hippies were just fooling themselves.  I knew everyone of us would have to see the real world and what's in it for ourselves and we did.  Financial loss, sickness, suicide,  Fatal Alcoholism, drug overdoses, murder,  all of that would visit one of us sooner or later. But the hardest thing we have to face in life is death. The death of a close loved one will take wind out of your sails. Especially when it comes right out of the blue and makes no sense at all.  My brother Joe had only been married for a one year to a girl from Hawaii. He was only 33 and he had his whole life in front of him.  He bought a new home and everything was good until Oct. 28th 1994. I got a knock on my door and two of my brothers were standing there and I knew something us up. Neither one of them wanted to tell me what happened. And then I heard Berny say,  Joe died!........I couldn't believe what I just heard. It seemed like time stopped.  I thought for sure I was dreaming this. This couldn't be happening.  Joe was the youngest of 7 brothers.  We were all born one year apart from each other so it was like this special tribe we had.  But Joe was special to all of us.  I used to ask him if anyone at school was picking on him and he always said no.  I was ready to make sure it stayed that way.  Joe and my sister Ann were spoiled by my parents but I didn't care. I didn't want them to go through what I did so I never rocked the boat. My dad was close to Joe and vise versa.  I've only seen my Father cry twice.  Once at my grandma Hedstrom's funeral. (His Mother)  And 30 years later at Joe's funeral.  I felt bad for my dad.  He put his heart and soul into Joe and like I say, they were close. I remember my Father looking down at Joe in the casket and I was thinking how can a loving God let this happen?  Why out of all of us 7 did He let this happen to Joe? This part of life I'll never understand. When I see some of the things that go on in the world today my blood boils. This subject tests my Christian faith more than anything else. I don't have an answer for people that ask me these things.  That's what I tell them.  I tell them I don't know. I don't pretend to have an answer for them either. When ever I think about this subject a little voice whispers in my ear...What about Jesus? I Don't want to hear that whisper in my ear right now. I'am trying to understand how a loving God can let little children be beheaded because their of their Christian faith? In my mind I'm thinking, God, you made a mistake when you created us. Man is capable of too much evil on this earth. Stop and start over. If you take a step back and think about it that's what He did at the cross. He gave us another chance at a new life.  How did God let Jesus go through what He did without intervening?.....I have no idea.   But aren't you glad the Son of God came through for us?  Think of where you'd be today if He hadn't gone through what He did for you and I?  God works in mysterious ways. but in spite of all that I learned to trust Him. I'm not going to walk away from the Christian faith because there's a side of God I don't understand. I had a friend who did that very thing in 1987. One day right out of the blue she said if God was a loving God the world would be in the condition it's in.  I could never do that. I'v seen too many unexplainable things happen to do that. And although there unexplainable, they all line up with the word of God. The bible is another trap the enemy will try and mess you up with.   I know what I know and no one will change that. I believe in salvation for the world through Jesus Christ by faith for whomever will come and surrender their lives to Him. I don't have to find the answers to the side of the character of God I don't understand. We can get tied up in the things we don't understand and you just end up with more questions. Questions about why God is the way He is are pointless. suffering and destruction and evil are here today. Don't let those things keep you away from loving God. Do what you can for people and follow the golden rule to the best of your ability because if we're honest we all fall short of that one From time to time.    
     >Rev.11:15<